And the Christmas Caroline
by Clayton Overstreet
Summary: When Caroline goes to a family Christmas party and leaves grumpy resentful Max alone in the apartment for the night, Max is visited by the ghosts of Christmas... who apparently have nothing better to do than teach her a lesson about what it really means to care about someone. Will Max learn the error of her ways? Probably not.


I don't own these characters or profit from them.

However, after my last 2 Broke Girls fan fic I received many requests for a sequel. I came up with a lot of idea which I teased at the end of the fic, but I have no intention of doing them all. So I'm picking one and going with it. Do not ask for more. Unless the creators or the show contact and hire me I doubt I'll do another fic based on this show. I do have many others though, so feel free to read them or preferably buy some of my books which are available on Amazon including my newest "Lesbian Princesses &amp; Friends".

2 Broke Girls

And The Christmas Caroline

By, Clayton Overstreet

Previously in my other 2 Broke Girls fan fic "And The Morning After"

"Okay there's probably a perfectly good explanation for this. We were drunk and probably just crawled into bed and passed out. Perfectly innocent." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "We totally did not sleep together."

"I see two problems with that theory," Max said. Caroline opened her eyes and saw Max holding her half of the blanket up, staring down into it with wide eyes. "First of all, if I could do this to my own body, I'd have killed myself before I got out of high school by doing it all day _every_ day." She leaned in. "Second, that is _not_ my shade of lipstick."

000

Oleg at that moment stuck his head out of the back. "Order up!" He stopped, staring at the two of them and his eyes almost seemed to pop out of his head. "Holy spit-shake! You two had sex!"

"Oh-my-god!" Max snapped. She looked at Caroline. "Do I still have a lipstick print on me?"

000

Max and Caroline lay in bed together again, eyes staring up at the ceiling. Their hair was mussed, their makeup smeared, and both of them had huge smiled plastered on their faces along with a few lipstick prints. Max smacked her lips. "So you gay now?"

"Yep. You?"

"I thought that was implied when I was screaming 'Yes, yes, oh god yes Caroline I love you, oh god yes!' loud enough to be heard in Oleg's home village. Let me think about it for a minute with a clear head." She stared at the ceiling, lips pursed. "Yep. My freak flag's flying and it's in rainbow colors. Did not see that coming but there it is."

000

For the rest, read the fic.

000

And now, on with our story.

000

$1817.99

"Look Max, trust me, you don't want to come," Caroline said.

"I always want to come." Max frowned at her. "What, now that we're a couple you don't want to show me off to your family?"

"Yes, but not for the reasons you're thinking. Look, this whole Christmas party is… well it's an obligation. I have to go, but trust me you really don't want to be there."

Max shrugged. "Yeah, I get it. I wouldn't fit in with your high class family."

"No, but…"

"Caroline, it's okay. Just go. I'll find something to do around here."

Caroline leaned in and kissed Max on the cheek. "I'll be back as soon as I can." Max gave her a small hug, but without enthusiasm. Caroline gave her one last look and then walked out of the apartment while Max walked over to the couch and flopped down in front of the television.

"Just like old times… no… wait…" She walked to the fridge, got a bottle of beer and popped the top. "Ah! Now it's beginning to feel like Christmas."

A whole six pack later Max was unconscious on the couch when there was a knock at the door that woke her up. She woke with a snort and shouted, "I paid Boris last week!" The door knocked again and she looked blurrily over her shoulder. "If you're Christmas carolers leave now or I'm going to give you an empty six-pack-a-upside-your-head!" Suddenly Earl's head stuck through the door. "Holy hell!"

Earl laughed. "Always the same. A black man comes into the room uninvited and all the white women freak out." He walks the rest of the way through the door.

"Earl, what are you doing here and how the hell did you do that?" She looked down at the pile of beer bottles. "What was in that beer?"

"Well Max you see it's like this. I'm here to warn you that tonight you will be visited by three ghosts…"

Max slapped her face. "Oh come on, not the Ebenezer Scrooge bit! I know it's a classic, but do we really have to go that route? Can't I just drink until my nose turns red and play some special reindeer games with Caroline when she gets home."

Earl shrugged. "Hey, maybe next year you won't be so miserable and self centered so we can just have Han try to steal Christmas."

"Doubtful. You just described some of my better qualities. Those and my boobs are pretty much it."

"Screw it, I didn't want to play the ghost of Marley anyway. I'd rather be listening to Bob Marley. I'm going to head down to the nearest bar and commune with some Christmas spirits. You expect the first ghost at midnight." He flipped her off and walked through the wall.

"Hey Earl, that's…"

"Aiieeee!"

"The stairwell," Max finished. "Oh well." She looked around the apartment. The clock said eleven thirty. "Crap. Half an hour to kill before my next hallucination and I'm out of beer. Bah humbug!"

000

When Oleg walked through the door at twelve fifteen wobbling and holding a half empty bottle of unmarked alcohol Max said, "You're late." Then she snatched the bottle from his hand and chugged it.

"Hey baby, I'm the ghost of Christmas past. You expected me to be early?"

Lowering the bottle and gasping for air max managed, "How come all of you look like people I know?"

"I'm a two thousand year old incarnation of Christmas. Your mind interprets us as something you can understand." He paused and sniffed his armpits. "This is the first time in five hundred years I've smelled like goat cheese though."

"Yeah, Oleg's kind of old school like that. Like syphilis."

"Well let's get going," he said and extended his hand.

Max cringed back. "Do I have to touch you?"

He rolled his eyes and grabbed her hand. "I'm not really Oleg. I don't have anything contagious." Walking forward and dragging her behind them they walked through the wall.

Max blinked and looked around. They were in a mansion. "Uh, this isn't my past. I never even robbed a place as nice as this."

"Of course not," the ghost said. "I've seen your past. I'm trying to teach you a lesson about caring, not drive you to suicide."

Max shrugged. "You have a point… wait, I recognize this place." She walked over and peeked into the bathroom. "This is Caroline's house. I remember this bathroom… I have erotic dreams about this bathroom."

"That… that's just sad," the ghost said, shaking his head. "Come on, lets get this over with." He led the way through the house until they went downstairs and found a huge Christmas tree. Under it were enough presents to build a small house and among them was a small blond girl. "Not quite as sad as this though."

"Yeah, there's Caroline surrounded by presents worth more than a small country's national debt. I'm weeping on the inside." Little Caroline was opening presents, grinning hugely at each one. Soon she was in a pile of wrapping paper and a treasure trove any kid would give their right arm for. "It's like Barbie come to life only with smaller breasts."

But before the ghost could comment little Caroline looked over the piles around her and saw a passing maid. "Charlene where are mommy and daddy? I want to show them my presents."

"Your parents are at a Christmas party in the Hamptons," she said.

"Oh… okay." As the maid walked out of the huge room Caroline looked at her gifts and sighed. Sad, but without tears. This was not catching her by surprise. She picked up a doll from the pile and walked back up to her room.

Max felt her heart clench. "That's almost as pathetic as my paycheck."

"Almost," the ghost agreed. Around them the scene shifted and they saw Caroline on different Christmases. As she got older she invited her friends and would be seen talking to them during parties she threw. But each time she would look around, hoping to see her mother and father. "Your mom may have been pass out drunk in the living room but at least you saw her on Christmas."

Max nodded. "True. On the roof or in the front yard. Every year I'd wrap her in Christmas lights. We won the neighborhood decorating contest once. I might have gotten into trouble if she didn't black it out… wait, what's this?"

They weren't in the mansion any more, but her and Max's crummy apartment or the restaurant. Caroline laughed and smiled with the others and Max noticed something else. "Weird, she almost looks happier than when she was in the mansion."

Oleg smiled broadly and said again, "Yeah, almost."

Suddenly the lights dimmed. Max blinked and she was alone in her apartment again. She saw one of Caroline's work shirts draped over the back of the couch and picked it up. Clutching it in her hands to her chest a single tear dripped down her cheek. Then she sniffed. "Ew! I think Caroline was wearing this to clean out the dumpster today!" She threw it across the room.

000

The ghost of Christmas Present arrived at one looking exactly like Sophie only in a long white night dress. Max raised an eyebrow as she stepped into the room. "The last time I saw Sophie in something like that, it was at a wet t-shirt contest."

"I suppose you'd prefer something skimpier? I could have gone with a thong."

max held up her hands. "No way! I only just turned gay this year. I don't need to risk being scared straight."

"Hmph! Well then shall we get going?"

"Where are we headed?"

"You wanted to go to Caroline's party with her, didn't you? Aren't you curious what is going on there?"

Max blinked. "I suppose… though Caroline really didn't want me to come. Wouldn't it be wrong to intrude?" The ghost stared at her. "Yeah, I'm just screwing with you. Let me grab my jacket and we'll go."

The party was a high class affair in an observation room at a major hotel. The walls and ceiling were clear windows that gave a great view of the city skyline. The men were in tuxedos and the women in dresses that probably cost more than the building Max and Caroline lived in. The mingled talking quietly as max and the ghost hovered outside the window, unseen.

"Wow… real party animals," Max muttered. Looking down she said, "you know I bet from up here we could pee in the cars in the valet parking lot."

"Don't you dare."

She sniffed. "The real Sophie would have beaten me to it." They floated through the window and into the room. max smirked and said, "That's one way to avoid security. Can I snatch some free food?"

"No," the ghost said. "This is a mystical journey of discovery, not a snack run."

Max snorted. "Whatever. From the look of things it's mostly fish eggs and parts of a goose I'd rather not know about anyway." She looked around. "Oh look, there's Caroline chatting with some of her old friends."

"Right," the ghost said. "Let's get closer and see about that, shall we?"

The went over and heard Caroline talking. "My partner and I are still trying to make sure our cupcake business takes off. We've had a few setbacks but nothing is going to stop us."

"That is so admirable," one of the others said. "I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have my trust fund."

"I wasn't exactly given a choice."

Max said, "And I think we all know which one she'd choose…"

Suddenly another blond entered the area. "And when you say partner… you mean lover, right?"

"Hey cousin Courtney," Caroline said, without turning. "I thought the heater was on the fritz or maybe there was a ghost around, but now I know why the temperature just dropped ten degrees."

"Very funny. But then if I were in your position I suppose I'd have to keep a sense of humor too." She sneered. "I mean first your father tarnishes the family reputation and now not only are you doing us proud by splitting your time between serving greasy food at that dive you work at and pursuing your dream career as a baker, but my friend Diane says she saw you and your 'partner' dining out in public at _Antoinette's_."

"Hey, that meal cost us a fortune," Max said.

Caroline frowned. "So?"

"So you haven't done enough to embarrass the family, but now you have to let everyone in society know you're a dyke."

The other girls stepped back, forming a circle. Max looked around. "Damn, this is just like when I used to beat girls like her up in school." She looked at the ghost. "Seriously is there any way we can get my body up here for like five minutes so I can slap her around a little?"

"We're just watching," the ghost said.

"I never was into voyeurism."

Meanwhile Caroline glared into Courtney's eyes. "Who asked your opinion? At least I have someone who is not only really hot, but I know for a fact she isn't after my money. Unlike your boy toys."

"The key word being 'boy'."

Caroline rolled her eyes. "Please. Like that matters?"

"Then why isn't she with you? if you're so out and proud I'd think you'd have brought a date. Then again she isn't exactly the type who would fit in here."

"No, she isn't," Caroline said.

Max frowned and took a step back. Her heart sank. "Maybe we should…"

"She's way too good for me to introduce her to our family if I don't have to."

"What?" Max and Courtney asked at the same time.

"Oh please, like I was going to drag Max through this? Let you snipe at her in person? She's way too sensitive for that."

"Wait, me?" Max asked.

"So you're not horribly ashamed of her?"

"No, I'm horribly ashamed of me," Caroline said. "So maybe Max didn't grow up in high society. She has more pride than royalty and reason to. The last thing I needed was for her to have to put up with comments from snobs who are living on money that our family earned five generations ago. And I'm such a coward that I couldn't stand to have her see me here, trying to suck up and fit in with everyone because I'm too afraid to cut ties with people who didn't even help me when my dad went to jail because of the faint hope that one day being part of this family might actually mean something. That Max might have some reason to be as proud that she's with me as I am with her."

Courtney shook her head. "Whatever you need to tell yourself."

Caroline had tears welling in her eyes. "Girls excuse me, I need to go powder my nose." She turned and walked away.

"Classy lady," the ghost said.

"No kidding. I'd have buried a high heel in Courtney's blond skull by now." She looked at the ghost. "You know, I'm feeling a little dumb. Do I really need to see the third ghost?" The room dimmed and Max found herself back in her apartment once more. "I take that as a yes."

000

Max checked her watch. "Come on, it's two o'clock on Christmas Eve! I should be passed out drunk on the couch by now, not waiting up for Casper's creepy uncle!" Suddenly there was a cold and clammy hand on her shoulder. "Ah!" She turned, expecting to see a tall imposing figure. Instead she saw nothing until she looked down. There was Han in a black robe. "I can't afford to buy any robots right now. Try the sand people."

"You're not as funny as you think you know," he said.

"And let me guess, you're the ghost of puberty yet to come."

"Hilarious. I don't have all night. You ready for this?"

"Sure… hey any chance I can pick up some lottery numbers or race results while we're visiting the future?"

"If I was allowed to do that I'd have ditched this job a thousand years ago," he muttered. "Come on."

"Sure, why not? Looks like the future is going to be pretty short anyway."

They walked through the wall and into a kitchen. All around them dozens of people worked busily mixing and cooking things in gleaming ovens. Then a figure stepped through the crowd and everyone seemed to work harder. Caroline looked good. She wore glasses and a women's business suit as she checked her clip board. "Come on people, we've got a dozen more orders to fill including a dozen batches for our Milwaukee branch because they can't keep up with their orders."

"She has so had work done," Max said cattily. She looked at the large lumps pressing against the front of Caroline's top. "Nice work though. Those are even bigger than mine and if I weren't intimately familiar with Caroline's boobs I wouldn't know those were fakes."

"Hey she's worked her way back up. Caroline's Cupcakes are one of the top snack food producers in the country."

"Wait a second munchkin-Father-time." She looked down at him. "You mean Max and Caroline's Cupcakes, right?"

"Nope. When you two broke up without little miss Perky here to push you, you lost faith in the business and your relationship. Caroline kept on going without you. Eventually some relative of hers dropped dead and she inherited enough money to really take off."

A sexy redheaded girl in tight clothes and a fur wrap entered the room and kissed Caroline on the cheek. She was about half of Caroline's age. "Hey baby, can I borrow the Porsche? I need to go shopping. It's Christmas after all."

Caroline sighed and Max noticed it was the same sigh she used to have when she was a little girl and her parents never showed up. "Sure sweetie. Just keep it under six figures."

"Do my best." She kissed Caroline on the cheek and rushed out.

"Who is that little skank?"

"Caroline's wife. After you broke her heart she went out to find someone else, but by then she was back in rich circles with the kind of people she grew up with. She ended up getting a trophy wife."

Max frowned. "So what happened to me? I suppose I'm dead, un-mourned by anyone?"

"No, worse." The room faded and they found themselves in a dark broom closet. Max, an older version, was bent over a box of Caroline's Cupcakes. Only she weighed about three hundred pounds, was wearing a hair net over thinning black hair, and was in a depressingly familiar yellow waitress's uniform.

"No! No way!" She looked at the ghost. "Are you kidding me?"

"Max," Han's voice shouted. "Break's over."

Snarfing down the rest of the pastries Max mumbled, "I'm coming." She crushed the box and threw it away. Max followed her older self staring in horror as she stepped into Han's diner. Oleg came around the corner on a crutch, one of his feet missing. Old Max saw it and asked, "What happened to you?"

"I owed some loan sharks on a bad bet. On the plus side, they only took one foot. So god bless us, everyone."

A beautiful young woman comes in with a stroller. "Hey everybody!"

"Oh my god, is that Sophie?" Max asked.

The ghost said, "Why do you think Oleg needed the money?"

Max peered at the baby. "That is a surprisingly cute child."

"They adopted. They had a baby, but it's being raised in an underground lab called Chernobyl Fall Out 7, near Area 51."

"So let me get this straight. Without Caroline I end up working for Han for the rest of my life. Sophie and Oleg live happily ever after."

"Actually you married Han," the ghost said with a smirk.

"Oh hell no! I want out of this nightmare! Caroline! Caroline!"

000

"Caroline!"

"Max!"

Max's eyes shot open and she sat up on the bed. "Caroline?"

"I'm right here," the blond said. "You were shouting my name in your sleep." Smirks and says. "It must have been some dream." Max jumped up and pulled her into a hug. "Whoa! Better than I thought."

"Never leave me!" Max clung hard.

Caroline began to gasp. "Max… sweetie… getting kinda hard to breathe here…"

"Sorry," Max said and backed up. She kissed Caroline on the cheek leaving a lipstick print and then stepped back. "I just… I really love you and I'm sorry about how I acted before you left.."

"Aw, I love you too. And don't worry. Considering that time you were on the rag and threw a knife at my head a little bitching is nothing."

"Yeah…" Max paused. She just noticed that Caroline's dress was torn and she had a black eye. "What happened to you?"

"Oh someone was pushing my buttons at the party. I did the classy thing and walked away but afterwards she just kept pushing until I slugged her. After that things got kind of heated and I think I broke a nail in her scalp."

"I hope you kicked Courtney's ass."

"Oh I so did. She was bad mouthing you so I finally had to shut her up. She may have come to the party in a limo, but she left in an ambulance. On the bright side I don't think I'm invited back next year so I can spend the holidays with you." She paused. "Hey, how did you know it was Courtney? I didn't think I ever told you about her."

Max threw an arm over Caroline's shoulder. "Never mind baby. Let's just crawl into bed, snuggle up, and in the morning I'll tell you an amazing story that begins with me downing a six pack."

"Max, all your stories begin that way."

"True. But they don't all end in me learning an important lesson about how much you mean to me and how I'll never take you for granted and will always trust your judgment."

And Max was better than her word. To Caroline it was almost as if she had a second lover. She treated Caroline with all the love and respect that old city could have ever hoped for and everyone who saw them together said there was never so perfect a couple in the whole wide world.

For two weeks.

Then they got into a fight in the kitchen at Han's that had them rolling around in cooking oil and flour for twenty minutes. They made up again later and Han gave then a $3 an hour raise.

Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed this fan fic of 2 Broke Girls. Please review it and my other stories. I can't write what you want if you don't tell me whether I'm doing a good job. In English preferably. Also again please look up C.D. Overstreet or Clayton Overstreet on Amazon and its affiliates and buy some of my books.


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